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Some Limericks

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Some Limericks

Post  nullnvoid on Tue Jan 15, 2013 5:59 pm

If you saw the discussion about the limerick form and wondered what all the fuss was about, I wanted to share what might be one of the most offensive books ever produced.

Some Limericks is a mock text book of collected Limericks published in 1929. If you've ever wondered about the rest of the limerick about "the young man of nantucket", you can finally find out how the rest of that verse goes...it's on page 41.

http://www.cypherpress.com/books/somelimericks/somelimericks.pdf

Fair warning, some of these require a strong stomach.

Edit - re-reading it I took the time to look up the anthologist - Norman Douglas. His last words are claimed to be: "Get these fucking nuns away from me." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Douglas

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Re: Some Limericks

Post  piginthecity on Wed Jan 16, 2013 10:21 am


There once was this prof called "pee zed"
who said "Now that Hitchens is dead,
I'll snarl and I'll hiss an'
I'll make them all listen
To dickheads like Watson instead !

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Re: Some Limericks

Post  scott1328 on Wed Jan 16, 2013 11:31 am

I suggest we all post a sexually harassing limerick that (not in the real world use of the term, but in the A+ sense)

Not only should your limerick be innocuous to any sane reader, but you should provide a (tortured) line of reasoning from innocuous to harassment.

Glob the Funct's limerick is the paragon by which any limericks will be judged.

Originality not required but do give credit where due..

I'll post mine later

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Re: Some Limericks

Post  Atheist Dude on Wed Jan 16, 2013 11:35 am

There once was an A+er named Setar
Who wasn't as bright as a getar
When he argues with Null
What he says is all bull
Because he doesn't have the spoons of a chakotar

chakotar(kind of a big lemon)
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Re: Some Limericks

Post  nullnvoid on Wed Jan 16, 2013 12:30 pm

Our delightful Athiest Dude,
With a propensity for ryhme schemes quite skewed
Made a poetical thrust
With a half rhyme that bust
And invented a word that sounds lewd!

Razz

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Re: Some Limericks

Post  nullnvoid on Thu Jan 17, 2013 11:24 am

That Babe, called piginthecity,
Thought athiesm+ was quite shitty,
Said let's just ignore 'em,
We'll build a new forum,
But no bugger will come, such a pity.

Razz


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Re: Some Limericks

Post  nullnvoid on Thu Jan 17, 2013 5:25 pm

The talkative scott1328,
Has a poem for which we must wait,
After numerous drafts,
And lackluster laughs,
Thought, it's better never than late!

Razz

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Re: Some Limericks

Post  scott1328 on Fri Jan 18, 2013 4:50 am

You all get c minus for not following directions. I guess I will give an example

There was a young lady named Cee
Whose cat became stuck in a tree
It cried through the night
And in the day light
When the fireman came it did flee.

Now this limerick would seem to stay well within the rules of any atheist safe space dedicated to social justice because it is devoid of humor and makes absolutely no mention of atheism or social justice.

However, there are numerous problems with it. It actually could be construed as a metaphor for rape! Let's deconstruct!

First, as has been noted before. all limericks are sexually charged because some limericks use sexual language. One only has to think of that fortunate fellow from Nantucket. So the very use of a limerick is the first cue that the content contained in it is suspect.

Next, note the use of the "young lady" appellation for the woman Cee. This is clearly a reference to the standard patriarchical dichotomy of ladies and whores. And note the reference to the standard male obsession about women's age.

The most egregious clue that this limerick is sexually charged is that it mentions a cat. This is obviously a thinly veiled reference to the woman's vagina. The limerick places the woman's vagina in an inaccessible place because she is a "lady" and lady's don't use their vaginas. Note that the limerick makes use of the well-worn trop of a woman helplessly pining.

But it's the last line of the limerick that reveals the author's true intent. Once again a sexually charged term is used. "When the fireman came" is clearly referencing the fireman's ejaculation. This interpretation is borne out 1) by the identification of the rescuer as a man, and 2) by the fact that after he has used his victim's vagina, the victim had to flee.

So, what this limerick is truly portraying is the helpless, virginal woman being kept inaccessible and pure but pining for a big strong he-man to rescue her from her life of helpless disempowerment. But once the man takes her and has had sex with her, she is no longer a lady but a whore who must flee in shame.

Where is the rape metaphor you ask? Surely you have read "Schroedinger's Rapist," do I have to connect all the dots for you?


Last edited by scott1328 on Fri Jan 18, 2013 4:59 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : fixed typos)

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Re: Some Limericks

Post  arpie on Fri Jan 18, 2013 6:17 am

lol! Great post Scott. It may take me quite a while b4 I can create a worthy follow up with your model, but I just wanted to tell you now how incredibly clever I found both your poem and description of how it would be viewed at A+. Might it explain the 18 lurkers I noticed earlier? Cool

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Re: Some Limericks

Post  piginthecity on Fri Jan 18, 2013 6:29 am

A brave poster of variety Australoid
with the precious safe space foolishly toyed,
so by actions of ceepolk,
setar, flew and other wee folk
was annulled and cast into the void.

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Re: Some Limericks

Post  nullnvoid on Fri Jan 18, 2013 11:39 am

Nice one pig. Scansion is a bit rough (Anapest) but I like the idea in the last line.

scott - You're a good writer. Sorry...I'm done talking about that site. You totally should have used "pussy" instead of "cat". (Scans better.)

It's much more fun writing limericks about each other. Anyone who posts one about me - I'll do one back at them.

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Re: Some Limericks

Post  Glob the Funct on Fri Jan 18, 2013 10:36 pm

scott1328 wrote:
Glob the Funct's limerick is the paragon by which any limericks will be judged.
It was actually a load of crap, but my intentions were honourable.
cheers
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Re: Some Limericks

Post  piginthecity on Sat Jan 19, 2013 5:16 am

What to do about that Australian
whose grasp of reality is as bad as a Raelian ?
His claim my rhyme's anapest
is a tacit challenge manifest
and he'll lose because I'm the most sesquipedalian !

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Re: Some Limericks

Post  Glob the Funct on Sat Jan 19, 2013 10:33 pm

There was a person of undetermined age who cannot be named
who wrote a poem for which they were permanently shamed
Xe didn't know it could sexually harass
and made of hirself an unacceptable ass
Thus remains of being a-privileged blamed.
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Re: Some Limericks

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